GOOD NEWS

Finally….some hap hap happy news! But first the build up…..

For the past year and a half my sweet little brother (at the ripe age of 22) has been putting his life on the line for this country. While I may not agree with the reasons that we are still at war, I have supported him with every step of the way. These men and women really believe in their efforts and I am so damn proud of my brother it hurts!

When I hear the news of another soldier killed in Baghdad I cringe, I get sick to my stomach. To be so young and exposed to so much hatred and revenge…what a great man he has turned into. When the phone calls were coming in from my dad in California sometimes I couldn’t even answer because I was so scared of what he would tell me! Did C get hurt; is he okay; when is he coming home? These were just a few of the questions that would run through my head.

There was the dreaded day when I got a call and the first thing said was, “Don’t worry, your brother is going to be okay.” Going to be? What the hell was that supposed to mean. Panic, fear, sweat pouring down my face, nausea…I thought I was going to pass out. His unit was part of a caravan and his Hum-V (?) hit an IED (underground explosive). Shrapnel to his face, some deep cuts and some scaring but he is okay…he still has his life…and his eyesight (because he has a pair of Oakley’s with titanium lenses that deflected the shards of metal that came towards his eyes).

Then we find out that he is coming home…back to the land of the free and the home of the brave. He couldn’t tell us when he would be home just that it would be sometime within the next twenty days. So, from that point we counted down.

Remember hearing the news of the 172nd Infantry from Ft. Wainwright Alaska that thought they were coming home but were instead taken to Baghdad on an extension? Well, sure enough that was C’s unit. Instead of a call saying he was back in Alaska we got a call saying that he was in Baghdad for 4-6 months!

Since his tour in Baghdad his unit has lost a soldier. This was the first fatality in the entire time he has been there. It was hard on him and his fellow soldiers. They are all tired and lonely, and it’s due time for them to return to us.

Yesterday I received a message from C. It read, “I’m sure you’ve heard the big news. I’ll be home soon.” I was at work, it was about 8:30 am here and my dad lives in California so it was 6:30 am there. I didn’t care…I had to call and find out what was going on.

The final word is this…C is due back in the United States sometime within the next two weeks. He will have to return to Alaska to get re-settled for a few weeks and on December 19th, he will fly to California to be reunited with his family! Unfortunately, I will be unable to be there upon his initial arrival but once the first of the year passes I will be on my way to Cali to see the man that I know as my “little brother”.



Wait….there’s more!

We have also recently found out that T will NOT be going to Iraq. He will be staying right here where he belongs…with his wife and with his recruits!

One more thing (it must just be the time of year for good things)….

In only 10 more days one of my bestest friends will be saying “I do”! I just know that she’s going to be the most beautiful bride ever and I couldn’t be happier for her!

Money Pit…Revisited

If you have ever read my blog you know that my house has been quite the money pit. Just when we thought it was all under control…welcome to winter in Northern Illinois!

Yesterday’s high temperature was a balmy 42 degrees. Hello people…it’s not even Halloween yet. I have been out of town for the past two weekends and when I arrived home (from an unbelievably ridiculous trip) T said to me, “the furnace hasn’t been working right.” My first question to him, “Did you call the HVAC guy?” I must have been delusional because I know better than that. I do everything...rather I’m there or not! I get home from work last night, exhausted from a weekend of traveling hell and all I want to do is relax. But…I can’t because it’s freezing cold in our house!

A few weeks ago I called the HVAC guy and told him what was happening (this has been a reoccurring issue). He told me that it sounded like there was a problem with our thermostat and for whatever reason it wasn’t running the program properly. Since we have replaced the thermostat within the past year T was absolutely 100% convinced that the thermostat was not the problem. So, instead of replacing it then to see if that would fix the problem he did NOTHING!

Well, I got so frustrated last night that I called the HVAC guy. I told him that I know he thought it was just the thermostat but that I didn’t care. If he had to come and charge me $500 I didn’t care, I just wanted it to work! I also called T to inform him that I was sick of it and it was getting fixed. I told him that if it did end up being the thermostat that I was going to pay the HVAC guy to fix it and that I didn’t want to hear him bitch one time that I spent money on something that he could have done. He had his chance to try and replace the damn thing and frankly I was over it!

So, at 8:15pm he showed up to address my problem. He went to the basement and looked at the unit and found one minor thing that needed attention but assured me that what he had found was NOT causing the problem we were having.

He still felt very strongly that the thermostat was bad so he unhooked it and tested the wiring to see if he could get the unit to kick on and off…and sure enough…it worked. I told him to go ahead and install a new thermostat. He went to his little work truck, got a new thermostat, installed it and within the next 5 minutes my house was warmed up! Absolutely freaking amazing isn’t it?

T arrived home impressed that the house was warm and still convinced that there was some other problem with the furnace and that the thermostat was fine. However, the first thing he noticed upon entering the living room was the old thermostat on the coffee table and the new one that was on the wall in its place!

I got lucky and the guy only charged me $150 to fix the small problem he found, install the new thermostat and for the service call after hours. I’m sure that it’s normally a bit more expensive than that but the same guy installed our central air system this past spring.

Now the furnace is fixed (at least it seems to be). The true test will be if it’s working tonight when I get home from work. I’m sure that the problem has been remedied and it just goes to show what a stubborn boo boo head T can be sometimes…but I love him anyway!

Vent

Let me just vent a bit about stuck up snobby ass bitches! I am an adult, I have a career, and I work in what I though was supposed to be a professional office environment. As of today I have become a bit angry.

We have a lady in our group out on medical leave. She is fighting a tough battle with cancer. We all try to keep in touch with her but at the same time I don’t want to bombard her with calls. I think it’s appropriate for one person in our group to call her each week and then update the others on how she is doing. That’s not how it works. There happens to be one individual that absolutely will not tell anyone when she has spoke to her! It’s like it’s top secret or something. Even when our boss asked if anyone had heard from her this particular person just looked away and didn’t say anything! Why be such a f’in stuck up, bitch ass prude?

Then, this afternoon several of us were going to the mall for lunch. It was planned by me and a co-worker from another group. We were planning on getting our eyebrows threaded and then grabbing a bite to eat. When it was time to leave my co-worker was in a meeting. Everyone else left and I said that I would meet them. They asked when and I said, “I just need five minutes to get my eyebrows done.” The next comment was (with a scrunched up face), “Well, I’m not interested in that anyway!” Well…guess what…we invited you to begin with so f off!

And lastly, today is caramel apple day at work. All of the money earned is donated to the United Way. After we all returned from lunch someone from my group asked if I was ready to go down and get an apple. I said yes and then began to collect my money. By the time I got my money ready and got up from my desk they were all gone! Needless to say, I was not very happy. Really, can you not wait 5 more seconds to get your damn apple?

My quote for the day….”F everyone”

How Bizarre..How Bizarre

At work we have informational luncheons called “Brown Bag” Seminars. You bring your lunch and they train you on a new product or a specific topic of interest.

We just acquired a new product called the Zassi Bowel Management System. Does anyone else think it ironic that I am going to learn about a bowel management product at a “Brown Bag” seminar?

It just makes me laugh….and it also makes me not so interested in actually eating while learning!

What a Night

I have decided that in preparation for the upcoming month of weddings that I will be attending that I am going to exercise. So, last night I went home from work, got the dogs ready, and off we went. We walked for about 2.5 miles at a rather quick pace because there are LOTS of squirrels in the area and my dogs love to run after them.

I got home, sat on the couch for a few and then I heard the thunder off in the distance. T was at work and I was at the house with the pups. My Buddy dog hates storms so he started to get a bit nerved up. He’s not the slimmest dog on the block but he sure figured out how to wedge himself between the loveseat and the wall. I let him be because I knew he was real scared. I got up to go to the bathroom and he followed me. He was just a basket case and when he gets worked up he sheds uncontrollably. Needless to say, my bathroom is covered in dog hair…fabulous!

It was still only about 8:00pm but it was windy and raining like mad. I decided to watch some television in bed so that Buddy could be up real close to me. That worked for about ten minutes until it thundered so loud that the house shook. After that he was shaking and couldn’t sit still. I opened T’s closet and moved his shoes out of the way and Buddy went right in and laid down.

T usually gets home from work around 10:30pm so I started to worry around 10:50pm when I hadn’t heard from him yet. He did show up at 11:00pm, wet and exhausted. He had been up since 3:00am and at work since 4:00am! He had a recruit that claimed he needed to go to the hospital last night right as he was trying to head home. It’s his duty to make sure that the recruits are okay so he called medical. This particular recruit has been to the hospital for the past three nights…each time being released with nothing wrong! He’s one of the type of recruits that will do anything to get out of physical training or anything to upset his drill commander. Well, guess what recruit…now you have pissed off Mrs. Drill Commander! Yes, boot camp is tough…but you signed up…this shouldn’t be a big freakin’ surprise to you! You think that you don’t get enough rest, think about my husband….he gets up at 3:00am to be at work by 4:00am to wake you up and get you started on your day…he trains right along with you all day…then he makes sure you’re in bed and finishes any daily paperwork before he can even begin his drive home….he drives 30 minutes….gets home and gets out of his uniform and usually still needs to have a bite to eat…he gets to bed around 11:00pm and it’s up again at 3:00am. Oh, did I mention that in the process of his daily routine he barely even has five minutes that he can even talk to me? I don’t see my husband or get to talk to him. My message to you recruit is this….Suck it the F@%$ Up! You’re in the Navy now…

Did I mention that a very large portion of the neighbor’s tree was in our driveway last night when T got home? Thankfully my car was in the garage and T wasn’t there or it would have most definitely fallen on one of our vehicles.

I got to work this morning and a co-worker said, “Did you go to the basement last night”? I guess I looked a bit confused…because she followed with, “There was a funnel cloud formation sighted in Zion last night.” Hello…where the hell was I? I must have been too busy trying to calm Buddy down to realize that I needed to take cover….no wonder my poor dog was so worked up….his mom’s a dumb ass!

Contemplation

I can tell you the pros and cons all day lomg and I still just can't grasp the concept of what is happening in my life right now. I'm in a really hard place and frankly I'm having a real difficult time with the whole situation. One minute I'm fine, I can talk about it and share my feelings and the next I'm a basket case! At graduation today I was looking at all of the "newest members of the US Navy" and it took everything in me to hold it together. Luckily T has been wonderful and I feel closer to him now than I have in a long time...but is this closeness that we are experiencing going to be ripped away if he goes to Iraq...will I be able to survive if something were to happen to him...will I lose my husband and my best friend...or will it make us both stronger...better...more loving...more grateful human beings? Why me...why, just this one time can't we settle in to our new lives here and enjoy the things we have worked so hard for...why? All I have ever wanted is a husband who loves me more than anything on earth and I have that so why is God toying with that...why can't I just continue to be happy and live my life peacefully with T by my side? I've made mistakes in the past...some big ones...but I never physically hurt anyone and I never took away something that someone loved and cherished so why take away my biggest most cherished love? I have promised myself that I would never tell him that he could not go (since this is a volunteer situation I do have that option)...but I want to look at him and beg and plead with him not to go. I believe that by being a drill commander and putting the time and the effort into training these young men and women the way that he does that he should be proud of what he is doing now. He is shaping the sailors of the greatest Navy on earth. He is preparing them for all that is to come...and did I mention that he's damn good at his job. He puts a lot of time and effort into his recruits and I feel that he is doing his duty by training them as he does. I know that for him, he sees it differently than I do but I just can't handle it. Bottom line is this; I may bitch at him for not doing enough around the house, I may bitch at him if I think he sleeps too long on his morning off, and I may tell him that he hurts my feelings a lot...but never ever would I wish anything bad to happen to him. Yes, I do handle it all...the bills, cleaning, laundry, yard work, taking care of the dogs...but I do still need him! I love him, he is my husband and my best friend. I know that this will all work out the way it was meant to and that everything happens for a reason...at this point I just don't understand it though!

Survival

For those of you who know me you are well aware that I am definitely a very strong, independent individual. Yes, I am married but because of my husband’s job I take care of everything…the bills, the house, the laundry, the dogs, the cars…you name it, I do it! I really don’t have a problem doing all of this stuff (most of the time anyway)!

A new opportunity has arisen for my husband and frankly, I don’t think I can handle it! He is in the Navy and there has been a notice put out for his rate asking for volunteers to go to Iraq and work as security for the Army convoys! I knew that this was happening at various duty stations around the country but I honestly never ever thought that it would be anything that we would honestly have to think about!

T wants to go…he wants to do his time and fulfill his duty! Do I want him to go? Hell no! He’s not just my husband; he really is my best friend. Because of the risks involved we really have to face all the possibilities, and one of those possibilities is the chance that he won’t make it home, that he won’t ever make it back to me. I just don’t know if I could survive.

There are benefits…..tax free pay, career advancement, combat pay, hazardous duty pay, family separation pay….but is all of that worth taking the chance of losing your life. We have discussed it until I cried (he may have been sniffling a bit but he hides it well), and to the point that I think now he’s confused about what he wants to do!

One thing that he absolutely does not have to worry about is that I would be unfaithful to him while he was away. Unfortunately most military personnel have to wonder when they go away. T does not….I am completely 100% madly, insanely, crazy in love with him! I’ll be right here with open arms waiting for his return! I might go crazy while he’s away, missing him and wishing he was here with me but I’ll stay positive and I’ll stay away from the news!

I know that not everyone agrees with the war (I’m not so sure that I agree), and I know that there are a lot of people who are anti-Bush. I’m not asking for anyone to support the war or support the President, I’m asking that you support the men and women who are willing to put their lives on the line to fight for something that they believe in! These men and women believe that they are making a difference and I support each and every one of them!

I know that T really wants to go and I will support him forever! I will not resent him if he does go…instead I will pray for him and love him with all my being!

Money Pit

When T and I transferred to Northern Illinois we purchased our first home. It was originally built in 1907 and for the most part has been completely remodeled. We have a basement, which is the greatest thing ever. However, we have a minor seepage problem in the basement during heavy periods of rainfall….at least that’s what the disclosures stated when we signed our contract for the house. Well, there were some things that we really wanted to do to the house and since we have never had a problem with water pooling in the basement or with it ever being really wet after lots of rain we decided to hold off on the waterproofing of the basement! Instead we got central air, a deck, a privacy fence, a new garage door, and electrical in the garage. So, I’ve spent all the money we had set aside for home improvements. Well, it’s been raining here…a lot! Our yard is clay so it really doesn’t soak the water up like some lawns do. This past Tuesday night it rained…and I mean rained like mad! Our yard flooded, it was like a pond! T went to the basement to throw in a load of laundry and beckoned me to come down. I figured he wanted something stupid like how much detergent to use or what setting was best. Boy was I wrong….what he wanted was to show me that gallons…yes gallons…of water were spewing into our basement. I guess that there is a rather large crack in our foundation that is above ground level and since the yard was flooded it just came pouring in. Luckily where the leak was occurring was just a few feet from the floor drain so it just ran down the wall and to the drain. Nothing got ruined (although I was paranoid about my tanning bed and my washer and dryer), and it’s all dry now but what to do? I called our realtor that sold us the house. She told me to call our lawyer and see if he feels it’s something we can go after the previous owner’s on. We are going to try to go the route of….minor seepage is different than major leakage! Hopefully we have some ground to stand on and can get it fixed. I also called our insurance company to see if they will at least cover some of the cost. They are going to send an appraiser out to see what’s going on and said they might cover the costs. So, hopefully the previous owners or our insurance company will come through….otherwise get ready VISA!

All I can say is this…it’s a good damn thing that I like my house!